hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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