Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
