Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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