After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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