You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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