Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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