he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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