this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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