Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
