Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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