My room smells like vodka and shame
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
