We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
