I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
