But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
