i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
