I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
