Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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