Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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