It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
