I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
