What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
