LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
