My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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