Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
