How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
