Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
