Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
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