Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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