ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
