Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
My cat gives me a boner
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
