"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
