So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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