Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
