I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
