great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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