Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
