Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
