uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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