hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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