The maid of honor just puked.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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