I need help removing her.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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