I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
