I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
