Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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