whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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