Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
