were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
