But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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