Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
