Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
