I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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